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Author: Kelly

New fiction project underway – call for help!

Published by Kelly on October 2, 2011

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my next tattoo. Coincidentally, today is the 4th anniversary of my divorce, and I always said that when my marriage was over, I would get a new tattoo to cover up the one that I got just a few days after our wedding. I wanted to get this tattoo four years ago, but I was left with a house that couldn’t sell and he couldn’t pay for. Things are just now starting to look up in the market, and I’m anxiously waiting for the last tie to be severed.

That, of course, is the Reader’s Digest version, but it’s a story that is anything but uncommon. A physical change that represents a significant event or belief that someone has. Sure, there are plenty of people out there who get tattoos for no reason whatsoever (I’m looking at you, University of Texas hipster), but I think that for the most part, people get tattoos to commemorate something special.

That’s where you come in. I want to know the story behind your tattoo, whether it’s your first or your 20th, so you can be part of this collection of stories. If you’re game, e-mail me the Reader’s Digest version of your tattoo story (or more, depending on how many creative liberties you’ll allow me to take).

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Meetupdate

Published by Kelly on September 15, 2011

As you may recall, I started attending a meetup group for writers since I am new to Austin. Since the first meetup, the group has grown quite a bit and I am – apparently – an assistant coordinator. I’ve gotten some feedback for Sister Christian and Diatomaceous Earth that’s been very helpful, and the writing prompts of ours have been fun for me. I finally remembered to bring my laptop so I could record my prompt results. I decided to go ahead and share the story I wrote from the prompt. Keep in mind this was written in 10 minutes, and hasn’t been edited at all.

The prompt was: You are in the green room of a talk show with a kangaroo. What happens?

“Why is this fucking kangaroo man in my green room, trying to steal my thunder?” I thought. This show was supposed to be all about me and my fucked up problems, not about some weird human who uncannily resembles a kangaroo. I looked over at the kangaroo man, waiting for him to make eye contact. He didn’t. He kept staring at the pouch in his lap pretending I didn’t exist, that I wasn’t 4 fucking feet away from him. Clearly, I would have to be the bigger person here and make conversation first.

“What’s your name, freak?” I ask. He continues to stare at his pouch, but reaches down into it and pulls out a Ziploc bag half-full of what I suspect is cocaine. I wonder if his kangaroo snout makes it easier or harder to snort coke. I’ve never been a fan of the stuff. I just can’t stand having things in my nose. And I hate the smell of smoke. I’m okay with needles; maybe I could do intravenous drugs.

“Sully,” the kangaroo said. “And yes, I am still human. I killed my entire family falling asleep at the wheel and just wanted to hop away from life after it happened. Spent my entire retirement savings on plastic surgery to turn myself into a kangaroo. Killing your family will make you do fucked up things.”

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New story up: Diatomaceous Earth

Published by Kelly on August 30, 2011

Ever since I moved to Texas, there has been one neighbor I haven’t cared for much… the gigantic cockroaches that live in the trees behind our apartment. It’s rained once since I moved here, for about 45 seconds, and the whole city is in the middle of level 2 water restrictions, so the cockroaches have been coming inside to look for water since they’re not getting it outside.

We’ve tried a lot of methods, both of us being pacifists who would rather throw the bugs back outside than squash them, but we’ve only just now found a system that seems to work at keeping them outside, where they belong. Still, it got me thinking about the cockroaches, and how it must be hard for them to face the danger of scavenging in peoples’ homes (although cockroaches in the lab have been known to go 3 months without food), so I wrote a story about it. Then again, maybe they just really don’t give a shit, like the honey badger.

Check it out, and tell me what you think.

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Vote for me! (If you want.)

Published by Kelly on August 15, 2011

I’ve hinted at this before, but some time ago I took a freelance writing side job working on other people’s online dating profiles. The job and I have had our ups and downs, but the bottom line of it is that I’ve learned a lot about this crazy world that is online dating, enough in fact that I thought it might be a good topic for SXSW Interactive 2012. If you think so too, give it a thumbs up. The SXSW world needs more stuff like this and less “how to reach your target market.” Although, I suppose this is kind of like that…

FYI – public voting counts for about 30% of whether or not a panel gets selected, so I promise not to hate you forever if you don’t vote for me.

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Weird Austin Writers Meetup!

Published by Kelly on August 2, 2011

I recently relocated to Austin, TX, and working from home and not going out much isn’t doing much for my social life. I’ve also resolved to start getting some traction on The Redheaded Stepchild, so I decided to kill two birds with one stone and join a writer’s workshop meetup group. We had our first meeting last week (I remember because it was not Shark Week, and because it was the only day last week I bothered to put on a bra), and I’ve assessed the following tech writer-y pros and cons list:

Pros:

  • It’s free. I like free. It’s much better than not free.
  • It’s a good way to get some eyes on my stuff – some eyes of people who have a clue what they’re doing.
  • It’s a good way to meet some like-minded people.
  • It’s a good way to see some new parts of the city (we were right on the water at our last meetup).
  • There’s a writing prompt exercise at every meetup.

Cons

  • The meetup organizer is less than organized.
  • They don’t exchange manuscripts before the meeting, so everyone just brings their stuff and we read it right there.
  • Only 3 people came to the first meetup.

I’ll give it a few meetups before I decide if it’s a bust, but in the meantime, if you’re interested in the material I write from the prompts, I’ll put em up.

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New poem – Sister Christian

Published by Kelly on July 8, 2011

I wrote the idea for this poem on an envelope I stole from the greeting card aisle in a Price Chopper. When inspiration strikes, you’ve gotta be prepared. Yes, I ripped off the title from one of my favorite 80s ballads, so hopefully I won’t get sued.

What do you think?

Read it here!

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My first “cover”

Published by Kelly on July 3, 2011

This is a little embarrassing, but when I first posted my published short story, Two Steps Forward, on Smashwords, I really had no idea what I was doing. I read their style guide and followed the instructions, and gave it away for free since A) it’s a short story – no one pays money for short stories and B) I have no idea what the tax implications would be. So I got to the almost-final step in the process, and then it asked me to upload a cover.

I’m thinking, “What? Only books have covers…” but I know better because I have downloaded my fair share of free short stories for Kindle with cover images. Sadly, I only finally created a cover for the thing and uploaded it today. Check it out at http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/36008.

I’ve read enough blogs from e-book author to know that cover art is very important in the electronic book world. It’s often what sways someone into spending the $3 to buy a book. And I’ve seen enough e-book covers to know what and what not to do. Still, I’m not a graphic designer, so I wanted to make sure I didn’t try to do anything too complicated. I had about 10 credits to Bigstock.com for some stock photography, so I ran a search on some of the themes in the story, and found what I think is just about the perfect image for the tone and themes of the story. Then I used my remedial PhotoShop skills to dial down the opacity and add the title and byline. Not bad for a first-timer, I think.

What do you think?

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New short story up: Date Zero

Published by Kelly on May 1, 2011

I’ve had this story written for awhile, but life has been really busy, between my real job and my freelance job, by which this story was inspired. Back in January, I took a job as a virtual dating assistant on a freelance basis. I write people’s online dating profiles and create messages to potential matches on their behalf. It’s a lot more work than I thought it would be originally, but it’s also teaching me a lot about a world I never knew and giving me insight into the lives of some of the clients and their matches. Honestly, anyone’s Match.com profile would be an amazing place to go for inspiration as a writer.

So my newest short story, Date Zero, is very loosely based on a client I wrote for a lot. I sometimes wonder, if our clients get really far with someone, at what point to they tell them that they hired a service to do their work for them? Anyway, there’s a lot of that in this story. Hope you enjoy it.

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“The Pollen Bath” coming soon to a Line Zero near you…

Published by Kelly on April 15, 2011

Well, it would seem my second published short story is going to be in the same publication as my first published short story. No skin off my back; I’m just glad it’s being accepted anywhere. This will be the third issue of Line Zero, and the first publication of The Pollen Bath. Getting something published is always happy news, but it also comes with the unhappy task of contacting every single publication where I sent it for consideration and notifying them, some of which get all pissy about it. Funny enough, I had a pollen bath on my car yesterday and the air made my eyes catch on fire.

Still, it can’t compare to seeing your name in print…

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